all things usually come to an end....

I knew I shouldn't have posted anything about Chris.... It's over. He's moving out on sunday. The story leading up to this is long, complicated and painful for me, so it's easier to just say that things happened, trust was lost on both sides and now it's time to part ways. I'm upset, I haven't been able to stop crying and I'm devastated. However, I must pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep moving on. The worst part about all this was having to tell the kids that Chris will not be back and I don't know if we will ever see him again. Sonny seems to be taking it the worst, he keeps telling me that he's going to miss Chris and he's sad about that.

The only comfort I can take from this situation is that I know God has someone really special for me and when He is ready and He feels I am ready, then it will happen. My most important responsibility now is to my children and myself. I need to show them that it's ok to cry when you are sad but there comes a time when you have to take care of yourself. I need to tell them that no matter who else comes and goes in their lives that I will always be there and I will never leave them.

But it does hurt and it hurts alot. To have invested almost a year into someone that you truly care about and love, then to have them walk out of your life like they never loved you at all, it's painful. I want to tell him to come back and work this out, but I don't think that's the right choice. I'm scared that I want him to come back for the wrong reasons. I'm a good mom and I have raised my children for the last 6 years almost completely alone. I can do it again and for as long as it takes until the right person comes along. I think I'm just tired of running the rat race. Being a single mom is overwhelming at times and for a while it was nice having someone to share that burden with. But it goes to show that you can only depend on yourself, don't expect anyone else to be responsible for your happiness. That can only come from within....