WE ARE MOVING!!!!

Right down the street! haha! Well, let's say it wasn't a planned move, however an opportunity presented itself and we just couldn't resist. A family friend, Amy, has decided to relocate from Wise County, VA (6 hours away from richmond) back to Richmond to be close to her family. She has been staying with us for about a month while we searched for rental property for her.

During one such rental seeking drive, we came across a HUGE house for rent, it looked like someone was home so we decided to knock on the door and see if we could get any information. Well, lucky for us, the homeowner was there, cleaning and painting the house. Evidently the tenant had just moved out a few days prior. The house is 3 levels, each level is a separate apartment. The basement apartment is being rented out by the landlord's ex-husband who we have met. The main floor has 2 bedrooms and will be rented by Amy and the top level has 4 bedrooms which will be rented by our family. Each level has it's own kitchen and bathrooms and separate entrances if we so choose. However, Amy is such a part of our family, that we will probably all spend enormous amounts of time in each other's apartments.

There is a huge fenced in yard for my dog and Amy's dogs to run and play to their hearts content. We have a covered carport, and even a carport to wash our cars in!!! With a hose and buckets and everything! (can you tell I'm even excited about the little things?)

And the best thing! Sonny and Lexi's new school is literally across the street! So I got the call today from the landlord letting us know that she is letting us rent the house. We have to meet with her later this week to go over the lease agreement and move in date. But pretty much, she said we can start moving our things whenever we are ready. So while our family had not planned on moving anytime soon, the opportunity to save some money on rent and bills could not be passed up. Plus all the kids in our family will have their own bedrooms and our beautiful Lola will have a yard to safely run and dig in, along with 2 other playmates.

I can't wait to tell Sonny and Lexi, I just got the news and they don't know yet. They have been wanting to move to a new house and I can't wait to tell them that the day has arrived!!!

I have learned....

These past few weeks have been extremely stressful for our family. One of the things that I always strive to do in my life is to learn from my trials and tribulations. I always try to find the underlying lesson in every event in my life. We can learn so much about ourselves and others during the "tough times". This post is going to be about what I have learned over the past few weeks.

1. Life is about Love (love for God and love for our fellow man)
2. Life is about trust (about trusting God to lead you through whatever He brings you to)
3. I have learned that no matter how long it has been since you have seen an old friend, it always does your heart good to spend time with them.
4. I have also learned that no matter how long it has been since you have seen an old friend, they always pop up right when you need them.
5. Laughter is the best medicine.
6. Snuggling with your kids is the 2nd best medicine
7. 10 minutes of rest and relaxation even in the midst of turmoil does wonders for easing the mind.
8. Spending time with others even when you don't want to helps keep your mind off the issues at hand.
9. Thinking constantly about your troubles does nothing except to magnify the fear.
10. When you stretch out an open hand to a friend in need, even when you, yourself is in need, it comes back to you tenfold. Never, ever resist the urge to truly help a friend in need.

Our lives have been tossed about the last few weeks, however the seas are calming as they always do. Life is always changing and evolving. Always either in the deep deep valley or on top of the mountain. What we must always remember is that no matter where you find yourself today, know that eventually it will change, it will get better and it will get worse. Life is constantly changing and it's hard sometimes to keep up with it all. We get overwhelmed, stressed, we cry, we scream, we lash out at others when we feel we have been hurt. But none of that matters, none of that helps, only the peace you get from God will carry you through your troubles. Maybe He is an old friend that you haven't spent time with in a while, I know it was like that for me. He reaffirmed in my life that He is there, He knows of my trouble and He's just waiting with open arms for me to ask for His help. Sometimes we question, "where is my God" when we are experiencing trials, but the answer is simple, He is always there, waiting for you....

Diamond Earrings and Glitter Nail Polish

You know what I realized this afternoon while admiring my reflection in the mirror? I am wearing diamond earrings and sparkly glitter nail polish.... What a combination! TLC's "What Not to Wear" would have a field day with me! I was given a set of diamond earrings by my children for Christmas and Jason's daughter Sophia had painted my nails with sparkly glitter nail polish the day before during our girly nail painting party. The contrast between my glamourous earrings and the tacky nail polish made me see something very important.

At times I feel like I have been thrust into motherhood, helpless to the time that passes all too quickly and steadily trying to claw my way back to my youth that feels lost so long ago. I'm constantly covered in crayon, marker, strange nail polish, crumbs etc... My lap is wearing out from the constant rotation of bottoms sitting in it. When we make the decision to have children, we never truly realize the sacrifices we will have to make along the way. But we don't mind doing that, because the rewards are so much greater.

However, day by day, we notice in the mirror a new wrinkle or a sag here or there. Our lips that in our youth used to curl upwards seem to be fixed into a permanent frown... You long for the days when you were young and beautiful, (the way diamond earrings make you feel). Suddenly a gray hair peeks through the brown and you start to wonder what happened to that carefree girl that you once were...

Occassionally you will see her, peeking back at you in the mirror. You can tell by the twinkle of her eye, the smile playing on her lips, the giggle escaping her mouth... And you know that she is still there, still young, still carefree, just hiding. Hiding and laughing because she just saw you wearing diamond earrings and sparkly glitter nail polish....

Sunny days are coming....

Isn't it funny how life works sometimes? One day something bad happens, something that hurts your heart completely and you aren't really sure how you are going to make it through. You think that every day that passes has to make it better. As you are putting one foot in front of the other, day by day, it doesn't seem to get better. Your heart still hurts and you aren't sure if you are ever going to feel "normal" again. Your heart says "i can't go on" but your mind says "keep trucking girl, we can do this". And you struggle to see the meaning in all your troubles, the reasons behind your heartache and you search for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. The light that keeps getting smaller even as you move forward. You think you will never make it.

Then one day, out of the blue, you wake up and realize the sun is shining. You have stepped out of the tunnel without even realizing it. You suddenly can really see that this life is full of opportunity, possibility, meaning and hope. God has not forgotten you, He sees your troubles and your pain and promises to walk you through it all to get you to the other side. Today my sun is shining for many reasons. Even though people have taken advantage of my kindness and generosity and stepped all over my feelings in the process, I can take heart in the fact that there are better things in store for my life than cheaters and liars. Love is not lost, there is someone out there, ready to accept my kind heart. God promises it, and because of that, it is true.

I have decided to share this with the few (very few) people who read this blog. On any given day, there are countless women who share my burdens and face the same troubles that I do. I want those women to see this and know that no matter how bad you hurt today, no matter how many troubles you are facing today, tomorrow will be better. Hope is out there just waiting for us to grab onto it and take it and embrace it. Don't ever feel yourself to be unworthy just because someone chose to deceive you or hurt you. People like that are not what God has in store for your life. He has something wonderful and amazing in store, you just have to trust that He will provide it when He feels you are ready. It's frustrating waiting for it, but you have to trust that His timing is perfect. And it is simply perfect...

Rude people

I just don't understand why some people feel the need to be rude. It's not necessary and it's definitely not conducive to any type of adult conversation. I'm trying to move on, really I am, but there are certain things that need to be taken care of when two people split up. Especially when those issues involve my bank account. So I don't think I am in the wrong in asking them to take care of those issues right away. So why do I get yelled at when asking? It's not that difficult to take care of, it involves one phone call, a phone call that I'm not allowed to make even though it involves my personal bank account!!! Trust me, I've tried and I hit a brick wall, a big brick wall, even with pleading my case to the customer service agent I am told that it doesn't matter the situation, his name is on the member account. It doesn't matter that it's my bank account. I am so frustrated. It doesn't make my happy in any way to keep picking up the phone and calling him to settle these things. What would make me happy is to have all of this done and me never having to talk to him again. So why be rude, just be an adult and take care of your business. So that we can both wash our hands of this ugly situation and move on to bigger and better things. Why make it more painful than it has to be?

The missing trash bag mystery

I had a huge roll of trash bags in my laundry room. There had to be at least 30 trash bags on that roll. There were there on Saturday. I took the trash out this morning since it was trash day (monday). Then when i got home, i realized I had not put a new trash bag in the trash can. So i walk into the laundry room, reach up to the shelf where they are kept and.......

Nothing but air. What? where are the trash bags? I searched high and low and they were no where to be found. What could have happened to all the trash bags? Well, Chris moved his things out yesterday, maybe he took them. So I send a text asking "did you take my trash bags? I can't seem to find them" His reply "NO"

Well here is what I think about that. I think he's a liar. He lied about his kids, i'm pretty sure he lied about the reason why he didn't leave any money yesterday for the bills and I think he's lying about the trash bags!

Trash bag thief!! WTF?!?!?!?!? Now what kind of immature person would steal trash bags? Well i guess it's fitting, maybe he needed to stuff all his "trash" in it since he was moving out.

The heart

We have an amazing organ in our body. The heart. It's what keeps you alive. Keeps the blood pumping through your veins so that you can complete another day's task. It also is strong. It can withstand 80 or more years of life. It's resilient, when taken care of, it can heal itself efficiently when harmed.

Isn't it wonderful, that your emotional heart has the exact same qualities? Your emotional heart can withstand so much over a period of time, that even when you think it's the end of the world, the heart keeps going. Over time, the hurt will go away, the resilient heart will heal itself. When you lose someone that you care about, particularly when someone chooses to leave you, you can take comfort in the pain.

Because no matter how much it hurts this day, tomorrow is coming. And it's a promise that tomorrow it will hurt less. That's the key to overcoming grief, sadness and pain. What will keep you going through today's pain is that tomorrow will take a small bit of that pain away. And over time, you will only have a faint memory of what it felt to love someone so much.

all things usually come to an end....

I knew I shouldn't have posted anything about Chris.... It's over. He's moving out on sunday. The story leading up to this is long, complicated and painful for me, so it's easier to just say that things happened, trust was lost on both sides and now it's time to part ways. I'm upset, I haven't been able to stop crying and I'm devastated. However, I must pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep moving on. The worst part about all this was having to tell the kids that Chris will not be back and I don't know if we will ever see him again. Sonny seems to be taking it the worst, he keeps telling me that he's going to miss Chris and he's sad about that.

The only comfort I can take from this situation is that I know God has someone really special for me and when He is ready and He feels I am ready, then it will happen. My most important responsibility now is to my children and myself. I need to show them that it's ok to cry when you are sad but there comes a time when you have to take care of yourself. I need to tell them that no matter who else comes and goes in their lives that I will always be there and I will never leave them.

But it does hurt and it hurts alot. To have invested almost a year into someone that you truly care about and love, then to have them walk out of your life like they never loved you at all, it's painful. I want to tell him to come back and work this out, but I don't think that's the right choice. I'm scared that I want him to come back for the wrong reasons. I'm a good mom and I have raised my children for the last 6 years almost completely alone. I can do it again and for as long as it takes until the right person comes along. I think I'm just tired of running the rat race. Being a single mom is overwhelming at times and for a while it was nice having someone to share that burden with. But it goes to show that you can only depend on yourself, don't expect anyone else to be responsible for your happiness. That can only come from within....

More Pictures!

Pictures, pictures, pictures!!!

Oh my, where has the time gone?

I am a terrible blogger, it has been over 6 months since my last post. I never even got Christmas pictures up! It is now August and we are getting ready to start the school year over again. This time it's Lexi's turn to leave the mother birds nest and head to kindergarten! I don't know if I will be able to hold the tears back this time for very long, my baby is growing up. A few news updates for everyone: We have adopted a dog. Her name is Lola, she is a 6 month old mix. We think she is part pit bull mixed with something else. But her demeanor is so relaxed and sweet that we are sure the pit bull part is very minimal. Here are a few pictures of her:




And for all of you wondering who that handsome devil is pictured with Lola, that is Chris. (well, it's hard to see him, the picture is so dark. I promise to post some better ones) He and I have been dating for about 6 months now and I have to say that he is a wonderful addition to our lives. Sonny and Lexi have really taken to him and he supplies that good father figure that the kids have been missing. We have actually known each other for about 16 years, he was friends with Anne-Marie growing up, and then they lost touch for many years. One day he walked into my office to fill out an application and remembered who I was right away. Then the story goes on from there.

The kids have been visiting their dad the last 7 weeks of this summer. They have spent the last 2 weeks with their Grandparents in North Carolina and will be coming home on sunday. I have missed them terribly and can't wait to see their shining faces and to see how much they have grown since I last saw them. They went camping with their grandparents to a place called Cherokee. It's an Indian reservation, i think and one night they had real Indians teaching people how to do authentic Cherokee dances. Sonny and Lexi were shy at first, but when one of the Indian's pointed to Sonny and said "You, with the mohawk, get up here and dance". Sonny did! I was told that the entire thing was on videotape and should be getting a copy when they come home. I can't wait to see it and post it for everyone.

I promise to post more updated pictures for everyone, now that we have internet at the house, it should be easier for me to keep up.

We're still here!

Ok, this is terrible, I have not blogged in 3 weeks! Christmas has come and gone, Sonny's 6th birthday has come and gone and still I have not blogged. Bad, bad blogger.

Christmas was a whirlwind. We had Anne-Marie, Ian and Riley in town this year and it was such a pleasure to be able to have Christmas with the whole family. The new sunroom at Mom's house was finished just in time to be completely demolished with wrapping paper and boxes on Christmas Day. It took 3 hours to go through everyone's presents, halfway through, we all had to take a break just to get our energy back! Unfortunately, I still have yet to upload all the pictures we took.

Even though the kids got so many things, there was one thing that Sonny wanted, however he neglected to tell anyone about this wish until a few days before christmas, after all the presents had been picked out. It was a Nintendo DS. It was all he could talk about and I filed that thought away in my brain because his birthday was coming up in 3 weeks. Soooo... being the good mommy that I am, I convinced a few family members to help me come up with the money to provide this gift for him. $300 dollars later, we had the Nintendo DS, 4 games and Aunt Ashley gave him the coolest carrying case ever. It looks like a lunch box, complete with head phones, car charger, screen protectors, a Star Wars cover, Star Wars skins for his DS, and 3 new stylus pens that look like light sabers!!! And since he has gotten this gift this past saturday, I think that my child is suffering from "Can't hearitis" and possibly also "forgotten how to speak syndrome". I don't think he has said more than 5 words and those words were "thanks for my DS Mom." Other than that, he has been completely absorbed into his games.

Little does he know that he has provided me with the perfect leverage for his behavior. Don't want to eat your dinner? I'm taking the DS. Don't want to be nice to your sister? I'm taking the DS. Don't want to clean your room? I'm taking the DS. And it works....last night was the first test...and it worked like a charm. Not only am I the coolest mom in the whole world, I'm evidently one of the smartest too!